so i’ve come to the conclusion that my body has grown accustomed to the level of caffeine that i supply it (i.e., the coffee that i drink). which means, like with any drug, i have developed a tolerance to this low, one cup dose of caffeine. so i decided to *gasp* cheat on coffee a little. i’ve been tired for the past few weeks (i’m pretty sure constantly going to bed late doesn’t have anything to do with it) and was looking for something to give me that extra “oomph” (or is it “umph”?) in order to get excited about a boring job with virtually nothing to do. no, seriously. i get paid waaaay too much (complaining? maybe).so from the ridiculous plethora of energy drinks fighting for my (and your) attention and money, i decided on a concoction in a rather tiny package that made big promises (hours of energy now! no crash later! fabulous prizes!).
presenting….from some science lab that functions more like a marketing agency….the contender…
versus….the champion….originally from colombia or some south american country….the caffeinated chief that browns your teeth….
i had seen commercials for five hour energy a lot, and decided to give it a try. the ingredients in it sounded beneficial (vitamins, enzymes, etc.), so at the very least i would get some nutrition from it. while i was reluctant to leave my beloved coffee for more than a few hours, i figured it was worth a try.
coffee vs. five hour energy: FIGHT! *cute Mortal Kombat theme*
TASTE: coffee tastes like coffee. if you add some chocolate caramel creamer, it tastes like liquid luxury blended with a full body massage and a dash of a kick in the pants. five hour energy….well…….you remember when you were in college, and you wanted just go crazy and combine pixie stix with cough syrup? yeah. i’m still washing my mouth out. the package declared that it had an “improved berry flavor,” which should tell you something. i figured the five hour energy blend didn’t taste good because of the ingredients, but adding supersweet sugar subs will not help.
ENERGY: coffee wakes me up in at the most twenty minutes (quicker if i add the instant stuff). i can keep going until about mid-day, to where i must replenish or be a zombie and frighten people. that’s just the way coffee works. five hour energy didn’t really do anything noticeably different, if at all. i was hoping to be running around like the little running man on the packaging. but alas, i sat there staring at my computer screen, letting my eyes melt. five hour energy claims to have about as much caffeine as a cup of coffee; that must be a Barbie-sized cup. it more than likely has to do with my caffeine tolerance and the fact that i’m a very laid back person to begin with (i think i was born comatose). perhaps i should’ve drank about ten of these. i betcha i would’ve felt something then.
CARBS: coffee has little carbs aside from what you doctor it up with (creamer, sugar, chocolate syrup, etc.) it works hand in hand with the caffeine that is ingested with it. five hour energy has zero net carbs (not sure what that means, anyone?), which is good news to anti-carb fans who believe carbs are the devil while they eat their cheese covered steaks with extra cheese and drink diet sodas. (and some sarcasm on the side!) i’m sure five hour energy means well, but you need carbs (the good, complex kind) to function properly and normally and not nod off at your desk while your boss is walking by.
NUTRIENTS: coffee doesn’t really supply much except for caffeine and various bioflavonoids. but then again scientist people are telling us in random intervals that it also causes cancer but then again doesn’t. five hour energy has the one up here, supplying B vitamins, enzymes, and amino acids, but little caloric value. the B vitamins are definitely useful, but your body doesn’t store these as they’re water soluble (meaning it’ll use what it needs and then make your urine expensive). i’m skeptical about the amino acids being of any use as the hydrochloric acid in your stomach will destroy them (if this stuff can eat through wood and metal, i’m pretty sure these amino acids don’t have much of a chance). five hour energy, if anything, has no sugar like most other energy drinks do; thus, they can claim that you won’t crash as you didn’t have any sugar to get you high in the first place.
and the winnah is…..coffee!
CONCLUSION: i admit i’m a little biased. coffee will always be a winner in my heart. aww…
how one reacts to five hour energy depends on a lot of factors: when they drink it, how much sleep they usually get, their diet, any medical complications they have, their caffeine tolerance, etc. five hour energy isn’t bad for you at all, but i wasn’t really blown across the room or anything. i’m not entirely sure if it’s worth five dollars for two little bottles (thirteen for six). i think i’ll just bump up my coffee consumption to two to three cups a day.