meet Free Rice.

go here. learn new words. help feed people. everyone wins.

go on. you’re goofing off anyways. otherwise how else did you get here?

wow, i didn’t expect so many comments on my coffee vs. 5 hour energy post. thanks for the words, folks! i just now got to read them (i’ve been preparing for an upcoming internship, which means i’ve been ploughing away at homework that they gave me, which has also been an exercise in faith, time management, and NOT letting loose a string of salty words while everyone else is asleep and YOU’RE NOT because you’re trying to get this stupid homework done and mailed off in time so your supervisor can check it GAARghfgalsdja;jfa;hfh). Best quote award goes to Samuel: “Tasted like it was a weapon used in WW2, though.”  Cracked me up. (It does, Samuel, you are not alone.)

anyways i came across this post from the-way-better-than-my-blog-will-ever-be diet-blog.  it is affectionately named the 7 Hamburgers of the Apocalypse. Which, incidentally, would make a most excellent band name. ironic bonus points if they don’t have seven members. or if they were PETA members. maybe they could open for Whole Wheat Bread. nice.

WARNING: this post is NSFV  (not safe for vegetarians)

or, things that piss me of at WIC/in general #1

preface: i’m usually a peaceful person.  but this torked me off. it took a lot of my willpower to not…let’s say…be overtly sarcastic with these folks.

maybe it’s just because it was a long day at work. maybe it’s because of all of the changes (both unecessary and otherwise) that have occurred here at work. but there are few things that piss me off more than not having manners. it’s not that hard. i’m not saying that you have to use a salad fork for salads only, i could care less about that. i have great difficulty tolerating people who don’t even acknowledge what i’m telling them, or don’t say thank you.

children don’t usually know any better, or are shy, or are still learning the concept of manners. but you, as an adult, with children, have no excuse. you can talk. i heard you talk to your children and your spouse, but not to me. now that’s absolutely fascinating.

i didn’t say anything out of sorts or inappropriate, that’s not how i roll. so i can’t imagine that you’d be angry with me. and it’s not my fault that your child won’t cooperate when we’re trying to take her height. no, my manners aren’t perfect. no, i don’t think i’m better than you. no, i’m not perfect. no, i don’t think you should be kissing my feet. but YES, i am a health professional trying to freaking talk to you. Respond in some form or fashion. DON’T JUST STARE AT ME LIKE AN IDIOT.

the heavens forbid you actually react to something i’m saying, especially when it involves the health of your children. you must be awfully poor if you can’t afford to pay common courtesy. i don’t care if you’ve heard the same things from another nutritionist or already know what to feed your child. i understand that it’s been a long wait and you have to get back to work or to watching your soap operas or shopping at the mall. it’s not as if we make you wait on purpose. if you cannot at least force a basic reaction towards me, then you are not worth my time.*

and no, i’m not going to suck it up and learn to deal with it even that’s how the world may be. it’s not right. everyone deserves common courtesy, as i gave it to you in a professional manner. if welfare was based on it, you wouldn’t qualify. enjoy your free food from the government that you probably don’t really need.

*on a side note, this client’s children were healthy and eating well. if they weren’t then i would definitely counseled them a little longer, but i doubt anything would have gotten through.

you will always be a star in my book, starfruit. i believe in you.

even if a child says they don’t have to go, don’t listen to them and take them to the bathroom anyway. children are not fully aware of the capacity (or lack thereof) of their bladders. they just don’t know what they want, darn whippersnappers.

some children may have bathroom fetishes and just want to see what your bathroom looks like. see if they want to take the toilets out for a spin. have them do it anyway if they feel they do not.

to their credit, the layout of this building is a little wonky. the only bathrooms available upstairs are employee bathrooms, so if a client has the urge, they have to travel back downstairs. of course that’s not a big issue, but if a child is decorating your office’s carpet because they had a false alarm that became a true alarm (or if a prenatal client is enjoying some morning sickness), i think it’s fine to send them to the employee bathroom.

aren’t you glad i shared this with you?

you know the make-your-ears-bleed feedback sound a microphone will make sometimes? go find a mic and put your ear right next to it. and turn the volume up to about 100.

young children are capable of screaming louder and at a higher pitch than you think.

much, much louder and higher.

i will never cease to be amazed (not in a good way) at the capabilities of a ridiculously cranky and pampered two year old’s lungs. and no, i’m not exaggerating. i know what i heard. but i don’t really remember hearing much after that because my dang ears hurt.

Happy April  Fool’s, btw.

this is my newest favorite band ever. in history.

whole wheat bread.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whole_Wheat_Bread)

you can’t deny their style, yo. keeping you regular and your cholesterol low always rawks. i can just see it now. the lead singer leaves the group to form his newest project called Low Fat Dairy. then the rest of the group reincarnates themselves into Meat and Beans. Twenty years from now their “best hits” collection could be entitled Well Balanced Diet. or, going back to their roots, they could call it Twenty Five Grams a Day.

okay, i just need to stop.

btw WWB — i’m just kidding. don’t sue me. i work for the government. i don’t know what actual money looks like.

now this would just suck.

oh, happy heart day by the way! be sure to keep your ticker healthy. (don’t forget the obvious - eat well, in moderation, and exercise often.) they’re a precious commodity you know.

oh yeah - eat yourself some dark chocolate too.

<3

additional resources: go red for women : healthy fridge : nutrition data

so i pretty much stole this from Sandy at Junk Food Science. just trying to get the word out. it makes sense; Mississippi is one of the most obese states in the country.

ridiculous or necessary? discrimination or discipline? you decide.  (thanks to Sandy!)

It has actually happened. Lawmakers have proposed legislation that forbids restaurants and food establishments from serving food to anyone who is obese (as defined by the State). Under this bill, food establishments are to be monitored for compliance under the State Department of Health and violators will have their business permits revoked.

House Bill 282 was introduced in the 2008 Mississippi legislative session on Friday by Representative W.T. Mayhall, Jr., a retired pharmaceutical salesman with DuPont-Merk. Its co-authors are Bobby Shows, a businessman, and John Read, a pharmacist.

The full text reads:

HOUSE BILL NO. 282

An act to prohibit certain food establishments from serving food to any person who is obese, based on criteria prescribed by the state department of health; to direct the department to prepare written materials that describe and explain the criteria for determining whether a person is obese and to provide those materials to the food establishments; to direct the department to monitor the food establishments for compliance with the provisions of this act; and for related purposes. Be it enacted by the legislature of the state of Mississippi:

SECTION 1.

(1) The provisions of this section shall apply to any food establishment that is required to obtain a permit from the State Department of Health under Section 41-3-15(4)(f), that operates primarily in an enclosed facility and that has five (5) or more seats for customers.

(2) Any food establishment to which this section applies shall not be allowed to serve food to any person who is obese, based on criteria prescribed by the State Department of Health after consultation with the Mississippi Council on Obesity Prevention and Management established under Section 41-101-1 or its successor. The State Department of Health shall prepare written materials that describe and explain the criteria for determining whether a person is obese, and shall provide those materials to all food establishments to which this section applies. A food establishment shall be entitled to rely on the criteria for obesity in those written materials when determining whether or not it is allowed to serve food to any person.

(3) The State Department of Health shall monitor the food establishments to which this section applies for compliance with the provisions of this section, and may revoke the permit of any food establishment that repeatedly violates the provisions of this section.

SECTION 2. This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2008.

Should this pass, scales will appear at the door of restaurants, people with BMIs of 30 or higher won’t be allowed to be served. And to comply with government regulations, restaurants will have to keep records of patrons’ BMIs.

Is this a tongue-in-cheek bill, meant to point out how absurd the war on obesity has become? Or do lawmakers actually believe the myths that gluttony is the cause for obesity and that it is the government’s role to force people to eat and live how it deems best?

I called lead author, Rep. Mayhall, and asked if this was serious legislation or tongue-in-cheek to make a point. He kindly took a moment to answer my question while the legislature was in session. He said that while, regrettably, he doesn’t believe his bill will pass, this is serious. He wrote it, he said, because of the “urgency of the obesity crisis and need for government action.” He hopes it will “call attention to the serious problem of obesity and what it is costing the Medicare system.”

So, yes, this is for real and these elected officials actually believe this stuff.

The time is now for all Americans who value their freedom to eat, look, breathe and live their lives how they choose to unite!

 

life lesson #2: if you are recieving some sort of health care or nutritional support from the government, expect a bit of a wait. THAT IS JUST THE WAY IT IS. we don’t want to keep you any longer than you want to be here, honest.

 and no offense, but PLEASE REMEMBER TO BRING YOUR CHILD/BABY when you get them recertified (that or bring a referral form from their doctor). contrary to popular belief, it’s very difficult to take their weight and height if they aren’t physically present. you may already know their height and weight perfectly, but a parent’s memory is not tangible and thus does not work with county policy.

thirdly, i cannot give you any random infant formula. you need a prescription from your baby’s doctor. THAT IS JUST THE WAY IT IS. (don’t get me wrong, though. i’ll issue them a month’s worth if the baby truly needs it. i’m no scrooge.)

 it’s not that our clients are stupid, not by any means. it’s just that they tend to forget. a lot. it gets irritating, and becomes time consuming. ah well, maybe it’s just me. i’m kind of cranky. rawr.

 i guess this equalled out to three life lessons.